What is After School Restraint Collapse?
Does your Kindergartner have tantrums after school? Is your third grader losing it when he gets home? This may be the result of After School Restraint Collapse.
When children go to elementary school and beyond they are usually expected to sit and attend far more than they were in preschool, even preschools that are academically focused. The day tends to be longer as well, and there is no or very little rest time.
The challenge of holding themselves in check for 6 or more hours per day is a tall order for all kids, but can be particularly hard for boys or children with any kind of learning or developmental challenge. They may be doing well adjusting to school, but when they come home can be a different story. That is what after school restraint collapse is. Another way of putting it is that when children return home, where they feel the safest and are with the people they love and trust the most, they fall apart.
There are ways to combat or at least get ahead of this a little bit.
Bring a healthy snack to pick up. Lunchtime is both a social time and time to eat. Some kids don’t get much eating done, especially with the lure of free play that is often available afterwards. Bringing a hearty snack can help ward off hangry behavior.
Have a little after school treat together. Going to get a frozen yogurt or a smoothie can be a helpful way to reconnect after a long day apart.
Try making conversation that encourages sharing. Highs and Lows (Roses and thorns) is a game that can help break the ice. You can take turns sharing successes and challenges from your day and you may get some insight into how your child is experiencing school. It can also help your child to know that you have highs and lows too, that not everything always goes smoothly in the adult world.
It’s always worth checking in with your child’s teacher as well. How is your child doing socially? Does he/she have some good friends in the class? How are focussed lessons and work time going? It is not uncommon for learning challenges to emerge in the early years of elementary school when reading, writing, and math become important parts of the school day. Sometimes kids just need a little help learning something new. Other times there’s a challenge and more support may be called for.
In short, after school restraint collapse is challenging behavior that emerges at home in response to long days and the academic demands of the school day. How you approach this is up to you, but communication and connection is always key. Try opening up about your own memories of school? When was the last time you learned something hard? Let us know if any of these suggestions work for you or if you find a different solution.
